Daisy's Talk Show
by Sour Schuyler
Summary: Iiiiiit's DAISY'S talk show! The gal finally gets some glam! And, first up, here comes Wario for an interview! ... OO Uhoh!
1. WARIO! And Waria!

Disclaimer: I do not own Daisy, the Gamecube, Wario World, Wario, or Nintendo Power. I do own Waria.  
  
Cue in on a stage, looking like a regular talk show stage, if not for the microwave near the host's seat. But hey, hosts need there coffee, too.  
  
"Hi, and welcome to Daisy's Talk Show!" Daisy announced. The audienced cheered and whooped. "Today, we have a special guest! It's Wario, here to talk about his new video game for the Gamecube, Wario World!" Most of the audience cheered, but two boys in the back booed--Xbox fanboys, of course.  
  
"Hi! I'm-a Wario!" Wario appeared on the stage.   
  
"Hi, Wario! Why don't you sit down and tell us about your new game?" Daisy pointed to a chair across from her.  
  
"Well, I haven't actually gotten to play it yet. But I did read about it in my Nintendo Power magazine. It appears that once again my treasure gets turned into baddies, and I have to fight them and collect my treasure all over again!"   
  
"Wow!" Daisy asked. "Do you plan to purchase the game?"  
  
"I own the game! After all, I'm the star! It was complimentary! But I haven't got a Gamecube. I mostly play my XBox."   
  
At this, a Nintendo fangirl with long light brown hair and light brown eyes stood up. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt. "Traitor!" she screeched, pointing at Wario. "Nintendo MADE you! How can you just betray them like that?"  
  
"I can do what I want, girl! After all, I am a bad guy, you know." Wario stood up, glaring at the girl.   
  
"Eheheh..." Daisy laughed nervously. Wario sat down. "Anything else you want to tell us?"  
  
"Well, no--"  
  
"I do!" A girl with long, black hair all the way down to her ankles and a long yellow dress stood up. "Wario! I am your long lost little sister, Waria!"  
  
"Waria!" Wario stood up. "Waria, I found you!" They ran towards each other and hugged.  
  
"O_O Soooo, you have a long lost little sister?"   
  
"Yep," Wario said, settling himself back onto the couch as Waria sat in a folding chair in the front row, smiling.  
  
"And her name is Waria?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Eh he he..." Daisy laughed. "Eh he he he he he he! Eh he he!! Eh heee heee hee!" Mario came out with a wheelbarrow. He picked up Daisy and set her in the wheelbarrow.  
  
"Back to the mental hospital for-a youza!" Luigi said, shaking his finger at Daisy.  
  
"Eh he he," Daisy mumbled.   
  
"Hee hee," Princess Peach said from backstage. "That crackpot. She's loo loo."  
  
"You said it," Waria said backstage.  
  
"Uh--! Wario!" Peach cried. "Aren't you supposed to be on stage--?  
  
"Shows over," Wario told her.  
  
"Oh," Peach said, dumbfounded. "That was a short chapter."  
  
"Yeah, well, we can't put in a substitue for the host just yet."  
  
"..."  
  
"Hey!" Luigi poked his head in. "Anyone want to watch the Luigi Brothers?"  
  
"Huh?" Wario said. Peach sighed.  
  
"He means Mario Bros., the movie," Peach explained. "He's just a little self-absorbed."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"...So, ya wanna go?" Luigi asked.  
  
"Sure," Peach sighed. Her plan hadn't gone into effect. Rats.   
  
"Let's-a go!" Luigi beckoned for them to all come into the den. Wario followed him through the door to the den, and Peach, sighing again, followed.  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_  
  
Hi! This is my first Mario fic, so sorry if anyone seems a little out of character. I'm not going to use the italian accent much, except on Mario.  
  
I know this chapter was short, and I'm sorry. Gomen! [Sorry!] Most of the chapters will be much longer, okay? Okay! So, see you next time! 


	2. Professor Elvin Elvin Gadd

I do not own any of the Mario characters, except for Waria. Waria is mine, but it's probably not an original name... Oh well. vv Nintendo owns the rest. Nintendo owns Zelda, too. Lucky stiffs. They own wonderful Link and wonderful Zelda. Wonderful, wonderful, Link and Zelda. Wonderful--  
  
Daisy: sweatdrops Let's not get off topic here.  
  
Right. Um, I also do not own Shaman King or Finding Nemo. So, anyway, on with the ficcie! Oh, and review responses at the end! -  
  
You see a den. It has a large screen TV, a couch, tinker toys, a microwave and a freezer. Allow me to elaborate--you come in through the door, on the south side, 'kay? The couch is in the middle, and the microwave is against the eastern wall. The tinker toys are in the south-western corner, and the TV is against the north wall. The couch is green. Not that you care.  
  
"Luigi" Bros. was playing, and Luigi and Wario were on opposite sides of the couch, watching intently. Peach was making popcorn, and Baby Mario was playing with the tinker toys. Waluigi suddenly came through the open door.  
  
"You guys! Daisy is better! We've got to report to the set!"  
  
"Right!" Wario said, jumping up and turning off the TV, and bounding out of the room.  
  
"Ok-ey!" Luigi said, striding out of the room.  
  
Peach stood there, alone in the room except for Baby Mario, on the verge of tears.  
  
"That Daisy! She always gets all the attention! Even Mario pays more attention to her now! --Even though he loves me," Peach said, her eyes narrowing with the last sentence. "They're just friends--aren't they? They better be! They better be..." Peach hissed. Then, picking up Baby Mario, she took long strides out of the room.  
  
Later...  
  
"Hi, and welcome to the second installation of Daisy's Talk Show! I would like to thank all of you for all the get-well cards I got--one hundred, in fact. Thank you so much." Daisy blew a kiss into the audience. They cheered.  
  
"So, thank you all very much! Anyway, today we have a special guest--the inventor Elvin Gadd!"  
  
The audience cheered as the inventor E. Gadd came on to the set. The white- haired inventor waved to the audience.  
  
"Welcome, welcome!" the inventor said as his greeting.  
  
"Yes, welcome to your interview!" Daisy agreed. "So, E. Gadd, I have a question—do you have a middle name? 'Cause it doesn't appear in the game."  
  
"I do," Elvin told her. "It's Elvin." Daisy sweat dropped.  
  
"Elvin?" the yellow-dressed princess repeated, still sweat dropping.  
  
"Yes, yes! It is Elvin!"  
  
"...Eheh... Excuse me for a minute." Daisy rushed backstage. "Luigi, do you have my medicine?"  
  
"Yep. Right-a here." Luigi pointed to a bottle full of pills. Daisy took three and drank them down with a cup of water, then walked back out on the stage.  
  
"Okay... so it's Professor Elvin Elvin Gadd?" Daisy asked, sweating nervously. 'Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place...'  
  
Suddenly, out of an interdimensional hole, "Wooden Sword" Ryu, and Peach, from Shaman King and Finding Nemo, stuck their heads in (or in peaches case, her whole body).  
  
"That's the spirit!" they yelled, before disappearing. Luckily, Daisy didn't notice. But the entire audience was silent.  
  
"Of course not!" Professor E.E.Gadd said, standing on the chair to his full height, so that it was as tall as her sitting down on HER chair. "It's PROFESSOR E. GADD!! Why can't you get it right!?" The little nutjob then sat down, fuming.  
  
"Um... so wait... you're first name is... Professor?" Daisy asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yesh! Why doesesh nobodyish gesh thish?" P.E.G. said. ...Yeah, we'll just call him PEG.  
  
"Can I call you Peg?" Daisy asked, under my strict orders, otherwise she'd be fried to a crisp and thrown into a boiler. Please give me some time now to grin.  
  
"Ooookay...." Daisy eyed the freak that is me standing in the storage closet with the door open, grinning widely. "Um... so... can I?"  
  
"Yosh."  
  
"GAH! I can't TAKE THIS anymore!!!!!" Daisy got up and stormed off backstage, and then into a room marked 'DAISY' in black over a pale yellowish star.  
  
"Daisy!" Luigi cried, worried about his girlfriend.  
  
"E Gadd!" PEG cried. This caused some people in the audience to look at him funny. If they weren't already before.  
  
".......Booooo!" One guy threw a paper wad at him. Another person followed suit. Pretty soon, the stage was flooded with bits of flooded papers.  
  
"You won't get me, you cretins!!!" E. Gadd yelled, shaking his fist, before scooping up some of the wads of paper and tossing them back into the audience. It didn't do much, just caused louder booing and a whole lot more paper to pour onto the stage. Soon, Professor Elvin Gadd was covered.  
  
..w000t...... ----  
  
Okay, that ended abruptly. To be honest, I was very eager to begin my review responses. So here they are.  
  
----  
  
REVIEW RESPONSES!!!!  
  
So far, this hasn't done very well in the reviews department. GOTTEN them, yeah, but gotten GOOD ones, no. I mean, sure, I like reading senseless flames once in a while, but TWO flames!? Come on, it can't be THAT bad!! But, flamers, remember I am open to criticism!!! So, I really don't mind your flames. It makes me smile, really. Lol. =)  
  
banana: Thanks. grins Something wicked you say? I'll try. Oh, and beware of Peach. There's a plot a'comin.  
  
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad boy: Senseless flame #1. Cool. You made me smile.  
  
KittyHorse: Lol. I may very well do that. But for now, she will just be on lots of medication... though it seems she has cracked.  
  
Seatbelts: Can't Nintendo and Microsoft and Sony all just get along? =) And thanks for your review. Oh, and as for Waria... Hey, it just popped into my head, okay? So sue me. ...Ignore that last sentence. (Actually, I never quite understood why they named him 'Waluigi'... Could someone explain that to me?)  
  
Hyperpersonwhohasnofuture: Thanks!   
  
Heather Wianur: Thank you! Your enthusiastic review boosted my spirits! Oh yeah, and I think Nintendo rocks too. Thus this fanfiction. TT  
  
Alright, now, please leave a review!! I accept flames!! YEAH! 


	3. Merry Christmas Update! Interviewing Pea...

Luigi tried to plead with his girlfriend.

"But-a Daisy!"

"Nope!" Daisy said stubbornly from the other side of the starred door, crossing her arms tightly and pouting. "I'm not coming out 'til I can interview someone NORMAL!"

"O-akay," Luigi said. He walked over to a girl… well he wouldn't know that, it was just a figure with red glowing eyes, and a black hood on. She held a red triton that was glowing a fiery red, orange, and yellow, as if it was one large mass of liquidy lava.

((My get up for this chappie. What you think?))

Anyway, he approached me. Yes, this is written in 1st person. Got a problem with it?

"She-a won't-a come," Luigi told me mournfully, "and I can't-a get rid of dis' ree-deeculous acksont." I raised an eyebrow. Now Luigi's words were becoming unrecognizable. This was bad.

"Fine," I hissed. I took my fiery triton of doom, and—

--whapped him on the head with it.

"OW!!!" Luigi cursed under his breath. Ooh, naught Luigi. "What did you do that for, you dummy!??"

"…Your accent's gone," I said boredly. Of course, he still sounded Italian, but it got rid of all the –a's.

"Really!?" Luigi looked purely ecstatic. "HOORAY!"

"SHUT UP IN THERE!" Mario screamed. "I'm-a tryin' to watch TV!"

((Wow, that's annoying.))

"You have no idea," Luigi mumbled. "Alright, let's get somebody normal on the line..."

"I'll do it!" Peach offered, raising her hand. "He he he he he..."

"Why are you laughing?" Luigi wondered.

"Um..." Peach looked around shiftily. "...No reason."

"Alright, I'll tell Daisy you're our guest." Luigi pounded on the door. "Oi! Daisy!"

"I heard the whole thing, you dummy!" Daisy said, tip-toeing daintily out of the room. "Thank you so much for finding me a normal guest, Luigi!" Daisy threw her arms around him. Luigi blushed. "And thank YOU so much for BEING a normal guest, Peach-chan!" Daisy glomped her best friend.

Peach sweat dropped. "Eh he... no problem... I'll even bring Baby Mario on."

"Okay!" Daisy ran out on the set.

"HELLO, FANS!"

The live audience was all dead. Daisy's eyes buggered out. "OMIGOD!" she screamed. "WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE!"

"Oh no!" Luigi cried in horror. Mario stood on the stage, looking guilty.

"Um..."

"Brother, WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Luigi threw his hands up in wild gesticulation. He looked angry, he felt angry, he WAS angry.

"I just raised my arms..." Mario's eyes got watery with embarrassment.

"...Mario, go take a bath."

"Yes brother!" and Mario scrambled, er... waddled away.

"...............BOWSER!" Daisy suddenly snapped.

A white-washed door creaked open just a crack, making a sliver of darkness. Then, out of that darkness, emerged a large, reptilian beast... named Bowser. BOWSER! Ma ha ha ha ha... Hoo, anyway.

"What?" he rasped, fire flaring out of his nostrils.

"CLEAN UP THIS MESS!" Daisy screeched. Bowser sweat dropped.

"Fine, your majesty." Bowser proceeded to clean up. Meanwhile, Luigi grabbed random people off the street, tempted them with hot dogs, and got them to join the studio audience. Here is an example.

"Don't you want a hot dog?!?!?!" Luigi shoved the hot dog under Maira's nose. The girl looked at him with brown eyes.

"...No," she said, and she started to walk away. Luigi reached out and tugged on her almost-black, brown hair.

"HEY!" he shouted in her ear. "GUESS WHAT!?"

"WHAT?!" she shouted back.

"CHICKEN NUTS!" Luigi pointed to the hot dog.

"You're gross!" Maira hit him.

"...I'll give you a hot dog with ice cream on it," Luigi said seriously. Maira's eyes lit up like it was Christmas. Actually, it was...

"OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Much later...

"Welcome to Daisy's Talk Show!" Daisy announced. She sat down. "Today we shall be interviewing my best friend, PEACH!"

"Psst," Luigi whispered. "Peach, you're on."

"Ok." Peach looked at herself in the reflective surface of the architrave and fixed her hair quickly, grabbed Baby Mario and then dashed onto stage. She sat down with a hasty hello.

"................................................."

"What?" Peach asked.

"O.O" the entire studio audience stared.

Peach was wearing a black suit, with a slit down the middle almost to her belly button. It had large, plastic shoulder pads, and also knee pads. Baby Mario was dressed up as a vampire.

"You weren't supposed to wear your skateboarding outfit," Daisy explained. "But that's ok..."

"Ok." Peach smiled and waved at the camera. "So, what sort of questions were you going to ask me Daisy?"

"Well..." Daisy looked at her list of questions. "Um... is it hard being the Princess of Mushroom Kingdom?"

Peach sighed. "Yes... I keep on getting kidnapped by some fat man wearing red and a green Barney with spikes. Plus, everybody associates the word 'Mushroom' with being high. I just boosted this fanfics rating to PG, and I'm so proud."

"Ok..." Daisy looked down again at the list. "Do you have Princess lessons?"

"Like in the Princess Diaries?" Peach asked, surprised. "Heck no!"

"What sort of activities DO you do, then?" Daisy asked. She was starting to feel a bit more comfortable with the situation, even though Peach looked like a whore.

"I do yoga..." Luigi nosebled. "Cooking..." Bowser fainted. His tongue hung out and he had X's for eyes.. He looked like he was afraid of being poisoned. "Cleaning..."

"Yea, right!" a toad in the audience shouted.

"Tennis, and raising B.M.!" Peach beamed, oblivious to all of the people who hated her.

"Is it fun raising Baby Mario?" Daisy asked with a smile. Baby Mario tipped his hat towards her and cooed.

Peach smiled. "YEAH! He can say 'dada' now."

Baby Mario reached towards Luigi. "Da da!"

Everybody in the room sweat dropped.

"...He just doesn't know what it means yet..." Peach murmured.

"Oh. Anyway..."

"SHUT UP! I'm trying to eat my HOT DOG! WHEEEEEEEEEE!" Maira ran around with her hot dog... Unfortunately, the large pile of papers that P.E.G. had decided to nap in from the last episode were still there, and she slipped on it. "WHOA!" The hot dog flew... and landed right on Mario's face, who, by the way, was wearing nothing but a towel.

Luigi brought Daisy her pills, but Daisy shooed him away. "It's great for ratings," she insisted.

Does anybody want to leave me a Christmas review?

--------

The Master Flamer- ...I really don't care.

???- You tell 'em dude! Thank you...

Maira- Thank ya thank ya! I can't wait to hang with you again next summer!

Heather Wianur- I have updated!

Marios-apprentist- Mmm. Yummy!

Alex- It's not my first story... o.o; Well, for Mario it is. And I'm a girl. But that's ok! Your reviews are what makes it worth writing this.

Seatbelts- You confused me soooo much, because nowhere in this entire story does it EVER say that this is my first story. If you'd even looked at my biography, you'd know that I've written over 30. Merry Christmas and thank you for the review.


	4. Bowser

Kuramafangirl: THANK YOU! Lol. Your review made me feel so pleased with myself. :D The power of reviews!

LORDLUFFY07 OF THE MERRY GO: You seem like somebody I would be very good friends with, Moon Unit. :D Lol.

Daisylover555 – Sad to hear it, because Maira's based off of a friend of mine. Anyway, she'll appear later again.

"Hello, my adoring fans!" Daisy smiled liltingly.

It was a few days later. (Her show didn't air on weekends.) The studio was empty. But this didn't faze Daisy!

"Today, we're going to interview the prodigious Bowser! Now doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Because he'll be setting your insides on fire!"

"He he he," Daisy said nervously under her breath. She had blocked off the studio entrance, so nobody could come. Bowser had sent her death threats for inviting him onto the show on a Saturday morning, but had decided to show up anyway. Here he came now.

The floor quaked with each step that Bowser took. Two Toads (since it was unsafe for Luigi and Mario to be working) carried a large chair onto the set for Bowser to sit in. The chair was an super-large armchair, black with yellow flames emblazoned across the arms and the back.

Bowser, disgruntled, burst through the curtain, shouting at the top of lungs.

"RAWWWWWWWR!"

"I'm glad to see you too, Bowser," Daisy muttered underneath her breath. Outwardly she reapplied her lipstick and smiled dazzlingly at Bowser. "Hellllllooooooo, Bowser!"

Bowser grunted and took his seat. His spikes cut into the flesh of the chair.

"Owch," said the chair.

"So, now that you're here," Daisy said, looking around uneasily. Not a single fan sat in the seats. Perfect. "So, now that you're here," she repeated, "let's start with the questions."

"Why, certainly, my good chap!" Bowser said in a rather bad British accent.

"o.O Uhm… You're British?" Daisy asked, amazed.

"No, actually I'm Aussie, but that's quite all right. I've lived in England. That's where I took Peach after I kidnapped here for the third time." Bowser sighed happily. "Such memories!"

"Ok… so… what's your favorite food?"

"Pocky," Bowser answered immediately. Daisy blinked. "I also like spaghetti and meatballs."

"Uhm… your favorite drink to go with it?"

"Diet Pepsi, or Diet Sprite Zero. Gotta watch my figure, you know." Boswer took an apple out of his pocket, polished it with his hand, breathed on it, and bit into it. Then he took out some nail polish and started applying it.

Daisy flipped. "Uh, where did you get that?"

"Oh, a friend."

Peach stuck her head through the curtain. "Daisy, have you seen my—BOWSER! My… Oh, my gosh! MY NAIL POLISH!"

"RAWR!" Bowser stood up, grabbed Peach, and ran with her being smuggled under his clawed arm.

Daisy stared. "Um…?"


	5. Toad

_So… knowing that this fan fic is basically utter… crap? Yes, I believe crap is the right word, I've decided to try to ameliorate it a bit. Or a bunch, depending on how much care I really put into it. So, I hope this chapter is even the slightest bit better. Review and let me know, even if it's a flame. :)

* * *

_

It was time to go onstage again. Daisy was dreading this, not only because of the obvious effects her job was having on her sanity, but because she abominated the person whom she was to interview today.

It was time to interview Toad.

With Mario and Luigi off on a grand adventure saving Peach, the audience had lost quite a few fans to the new reality series, "How to Save a Girl in 10 Days." However, the live studio audience's bleacher-style seats were still two-thirds of the way filled, fans donning t-shirts saying such things as "Toad is Cool" and "Toad is Not Cool." Yeah, the t-shirts had pretty boring slogans. The pictures, however… Some were very amusing Family Guy t-shirts.

Daisy took a sip of her coffee… and her eyes bulged. Daintily defenestrating the defective decaffeinated monstrosity, she took a few deep breaths before going over to her seat.

The princess practiced even more deep breaths before the lesser toads signaled to her that cameras were about to start rolling. Then, she reapplied her lipstick just before she was due to smile into the camera.

"Welcome! Today, we're going to have a nice, _long,_" she grimaced, "_long, _wonderful chat with Toad! So everyone give Toad a big round of welcoming applause…!"

The entire audience clapped politely, some members whistling loudly through their fingers as Toad from Super Mario 64 strolled across the stage, waving to the fans he didn't really have. He sat down in his chair and rested his stubby arms on the armrests.

"Hi, Princess Daisy!" Toad chirped. Daisy winced. Toad sounded like a prepubescent boy, and the fact that everything that came out of his mouth was screeched made this especially painful to endure. However, Daisy was the host, and she had to interview him, no matter how many aspirins this caused her to consume in the process!

"Hi Toad… okay, so let's get right to it. My first question for you is… is your head really heavy?"

Toad blinked. "Well, when I was working in Peach's castle, and Bowser kidnapped her and imprisoned her on top of it, I…"

Daisy politely cleared her throat. "_Coughshutcoughup!_ Um, maybe you could stick to the point."

"I don't have a point; my head is rounded."

A lesser Toad signaled to the audience to laugh. The laughter was weak.

"So, what was the question again?"

Daisy sighed. "How heavy is your head?"

"It weighs ten pounds."

The eyes of Daisy, as well as the eyes of multitudinous audience members, grew wide.

"_Ten _pounds? That's _incredible!_" Daisy said without much emotion. "Do you ever fall over?"

"Oh yeah! All the time! This one time, while working in Peach's Castle, I—"

"Is this relevant?"

"Yeah! I tripped and fell down the stairs, and I couldn't stop! Some of the other toads were pretending the stairs were an alpine slope, and that I was a snowboard, because my heavy head just carried me down, down, down…"

The lesser Toad signaled for the audience to act shocked, but instead rippling laughter filled the studio. Daisy herself was giggling like mad.

"So… what sort of things do you do in your spare time?" Daisy asked. It wasn't one of the questions on her list; secretly, however, she was hoping that the head toad did exceedingly lame things in his/her (gender?) spare time that they could all laugh about.

Wait a minute; exactly what _gender _was Toad…? She couldn't ask that, could she?

Just then, Toad had an accident.

Not the Toad they were interviewing, but a Toad that was bringing Daisy a fresh cup of coffee. (It was probably one of the new interns that had not yet realized that Daisy usually did not actually _drink _anything while on the air, out of circumspection. After all, she had once had a nightmare where she spilled espresso all over her shirt. That would be awful in real life, and would make her ratings plummet. So the Toad that was bringing her coffee really didn't need to, and thus didn't really need to be on stage, and thus really did not _have _to pee on TV in from of the shocked audience and everyone.

Daisy's eyes widened to an enormous proportion. Oh, crud, what am I supposed to do? she wondered. And wondered. And everyone eventually looked at her, seeing how she would react.

"Don't…" She could play it off as a special effect they were going to have used later. "Don't… drop that… urine sample…" Oops, there went that chance.

The toad looked blue in the face with embarrassment, and the androgynous flora rushed off crying.

Daisy stared at her audience.

They stared at her.

Then she started laughing again. Hi, hysterical laughter. Giddy laughter. She fell out of her chair, laughing until she cried. The head toad, she one she had been so deadest on embarrassing, now turned bright red, as if Daisy was the drunk chick at a party, and he had been paired with her to dance.

The audience, now, was extremely interested in what sort of pills Luigi would be carting out to the talk show hostess. However, they plainly forgot that Luigi was co-starring at a reality TV show about using Goombas as trampolines and how to slide through a used pipe without getting grime on your clothes, all while saving a Princess from a reptilian overlord.

So Daisy just kind of stayed… crazy. For the next ten minutes, all she did was laugh crazily. The audience was uncomfortable. Toad was uncomfortable. Daisy had a ball, until she realized that a part of her _hair _was in the _warm _yellow _liquid _on the _floor—_and then she got up screaming. And the funny thing about Daisy, is when she screams she never really screams about the subject she's perturbed by, but something else entirely. So Daisy yelled "FIRE!"

The audience, semi-anxious to get out of their anyway, fled the studio, albeit their flight slowed by the crush that tried to get through the doorless double doorways (that weren't really doorways as they were doorless).

During the 29th minute of the tape, Daisy turned to Toad. The cameramen were still rolling, probably because they were mostly reading _Time _magazine and not really paying all that much attention. But Daisy turned to Toad.

"So, what _do _you do in your spare time?"

"I practice ballet and stuff," Toad said nervously. Daisy's face was red from all of the laughing she had been doing. "Y'know, ballet, torture, underwater basketweaving…"

"Cool!" Daisy shouted in a way that largely resembled a certain redhead from Texas that most people who ever read this will never know. "And… are you a girl or a guy?"

"I'm a—"

"We're out of film!" the lazy cameraman shouted. "That's a wrap, people!"

And so ended the fifth, and by far most disastrous episode of _Daisy's Talk Show _ever. Later, when Daisy got a hold of herself, she was totally ashamed and considered become a nun. Then she thought better of it. But later that night, she lay wide awake, realizing that Toad had told her of "its" gender, and that she had completely forgotten it already.


End file.
